what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
