i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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