We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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