She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
