I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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