I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
