You made me cry and you don't even care
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
