This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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