At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
