There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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