Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
