maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
