Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
