Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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