I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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