It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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