Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
