is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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