im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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