I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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