I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
