My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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