You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
