why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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