Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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