I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you win again, gameday.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
