yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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