I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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