I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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