hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
