chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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