Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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