We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
