you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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