Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
