Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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