And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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