I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
