you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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