Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
