We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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