haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
