No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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