Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
