her vagine was all disorganized.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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