Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
