Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
