so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize