there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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