I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
