Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
