ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
