just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
