dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
