3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
