i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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