A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
