It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
