I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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