ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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