She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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