Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
