There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
