Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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