Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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