I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
