You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
